


And Maybe Make Out A Little

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Troll Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-24
Updated: 2012-09-24
Packaged: 2017-11-14 23:17:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/520543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Not long after a certain conversation ends badly, Gamzee and Karkat try to gage just how badly Gamzee may have screwed things up with Tavros. Or just how badly he may have gotten it right.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And Maybe Make Out A Little

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Day 4 prompt of my 30 Day Writing Challenge, which was, “Dialogue only, please.”  
> Well, I cheated and I used like one line of not-dialogue. Also, there’s a pesterlog in here, but…that still counts as dialogue. Right?  
> Anyway. Here’s this ~:)

“You told him you wanted to make out with him. Why in the culling fork stabbing fuck would you think that that’s a good idea.”

“Shit, I don’t motherfuckin’ know—we was spittin’ the wicked rhymes and we was vibin’ and shit—I felt up and _red_ like a motherfucker—I thought that he did too.”

“You’re terrible at this. Seriously, I don’t even know why I ever had any hope in you. You are to romance like that hoofbeast-bulge-worshipping shitsack is to any ounce of fucking sanity.”

“ _Fuuuck_.”

“What?”

“He still hasn’t answered me back yet, bro.”

“I’m sure as fuck he hasn’t. This is Tavros we’re talking about.”

“Feels like it’s been fuckin’ days. I can’t even motherfuckin’ think straight anymore.”

“You’ve only been sitting here for a god damn hour. Calm your shit.”

“What if…what if this motherfucker won’t talk to me ever again?”

“…He will.”

“All I was wantin’ was to get comfortable with ‘im. Make him a couple pies, show him a good time. I wasn’t all up and about to make him do something he didn’t want to. I would never do that to him. I’d motherfuckin’ do anything he ever wanted me to, and nothin’ else.”

“…What is it that you even like about him anyway? I can’t have one conversation with him without having the scathing urge to flip my desk and set my husktop on fire.”

“Aw, why’s that, my best palebro?”

“Uh, maybe, uh, because, uh, he fucking, uh, talks like a fucking, uh, useless piece of shit.”

“Man, I can’t have you all up and talkin’ about my boy like that.”

“Sorry.”

“I guess…I just motherfuckin’ love the way his mind all up and works, you know. When he gets to slammin’ and droppin’ his fuckin’ rhymes, it’s like…man, where does any of that all even come from? Where does he even up and find such motherfuckin’ beautiful words? I could talk to this motherfucker for a whole sweep with no stops and shit and not get tired out. He’s so beautiful with all of what he says to me. It’s like…I can’t even know how he does it.”

“Wow. That was pathetic. _You_ are pathetic…but…you really like him, huh?”

“Fuck, I’m so…I’m so motherfuckin’ in the like for him. The way he gets to listenin’ to me and believin’ and inspirin’ me and shit. He’s fuckin’ _adorable_. He doesn’t even all and have to fuckin’ try at that shit, it just happens. But…I guess he don’t up and fuckin’ feel that same way about me.”

“Gamzee. I’m going to say this one more time, and one more time only.

“This is _Tavros,Stutter-fucking, Nitram_ that we’re dealing with. That you, and your insufferably hopeless flushed feelings, have decided to, for some reason, deal with. This is the troll with no matesprite, no moirail, no kismesis, and no one to auspitice between him and fucking no one because he probably doesn’t even know what an auspitice is, the clueless wriggler.

“He wouldn’t know what to do with a quadrant if it deep-throated a hot column of ‘you’re a dipshit’ down his protein chute and made him swallow it whole. I mean, have you seen the way he is around Vriska?”

“Naw. I guess I never got all up to noticin’ that.”

“He’s awkward as shit. It’s not… _personal_ that he didn’t tell you he wanted to have a sloppy make out session. He’s probably sitting there in his four wheel device trying to say ‘make out’ out loud without getting so worked up that he pisses his pants.”

“…He’s never gonna motherfuckin’ answer me, is he?”

“Ugh. Here. Look. Listen. I’m sure Tavros likes you. If he can sit for hours on end and rap with you about your clusterfucking miracles, and actually a _gree_ to coming over to your hive and eating one of your thinkpan-rotting, hoofbeast-shit-tasting pies—then he _must_ like you. In fact, I can almost guarantee it.

“Just…look at the pesterlog you just had with him. Look. As I’m reading it, my eyes are beginning to burn, because I can’t handle how monumentally goddamn awful you two are at this bursting sack of flaming bullshit that you call rapping. But even I can tell: he’s flirting with you. He’s flirting _back_ with you.”

“…Really?”

“Sure. ‘Your rhymes are _ruthlessly disciplinary._ My _hear ducts_ have been _naughty._ I think they are _naughty for more_.’ It sounds like some of the trash from Troll E.L. James’s Fifty Shades of Gag-Me-Until-I-Puke-My-Guts-Out, but it’s flirting nonetheless. I’m not going to fucking spell it out for you line by line, but trust me. I’m an expert at this. He may not know shit when it comes to actually _having_ a relationship, but he knows how he feels about you. It…kind of goes without saying, I guess.”

“So I wasn’t just all up and makin’ this up in my head.”

“Your thinkpan doesn’t even have the ability to make things up anymore, what with all the Slime that you feed it eight-thousand times a day.

“…He’ll answer you. I think. Just…wait for it.

“I may insult you for your blinding idiocy more times than I can count an hour, but I want you to be happy, Gamzee. Clearly, he—Tavros—makes you happy. So if there’s any hope to be had in it working out, then…here’s me hoping for you, all the way. Okay?”

“Aw. That shit’s about to motherfuckin’ make me cry. Thanks, bro.”

“…You’re welcome.

“…Gamzee, no. This was not an open invitation for you to put your long, dead-tree-branch arms around me and cuddle me like a scalemate…and don’t…do that thing, where you nuzzle your nose against my horn, Gamz…oh. Damn it…”

“I motherfuckin’ love you, best friend.”

“…yeah…I love you too.”

 

And, several hours later…

 

adiosToreador [AT] began trolling terminallyCapricious [TC]

AT: uH, hEY GAMZEE

AT: sORRY ABOUT HOW LONG IT TOOK ME TO, rESPOND TO YOUR LAST PESTER

AT: tHE ONE WHERE YOU SAID, tHAT THING THAT MADE ME TYPE NOTHING BUT, oNE COMMA, aND THEN TWO MORE COMMAS

AT: aND THEN MADE ME STOP BEFORE I COULD, tYPE THE THIRD COMMA, lIKE ONE DOES WHEN THEY ARE, tRYING TO SHOW THAT THEY ARE, fLUSTERED

AT: i THINK I WAS JUST, nERVOUS ABOUT MEETING YOU, a LITTLE

AT: aND, i THINK

AT: i DON’T KNOW HOW I WOULD FEEL ABOUT, mAKING OUT WITH YOU

AT: yET

AT: bUT IF IT’S STILL OKAY WITH YOU, i STILL WANT TO, rOLL ON OVER TO YOUR HIVE, aND

AT: mAYBE SLAM A FEW RHYMES, aND DROP IT LIKE, uHH, iT’S THE TEMPERATURE OF THE ALTERNIAN SUN

AT: aND MAYBE WE CAN, iNSTEAD OF, mAKE OUT, jUST KISS ON THE CHEEK, oR SOMETHING

AT: iF THAT’S NOT A THING THAT IS TOO MUCH TO ASK

AT: i WOULD PROBABLY BE MORE COMFORTABLE WITH THAT, oR WITH, hOLDING YOUR HANDS IN MINE, tOO

AT: i THINK YOU PROBABLY HAVE NICE, lONG HANDS, aND MAYBE, nICE CHEEKS TOO

AT: i MEAN, tHE CHEEKS ON YOUR FACE, aND NOT THE ONES, uM

AT: yEAH

AT: yOU HAVEN’T ANSWERED, sO, i GUESS, yOU MUST BE BUSY WITH SOMETHING

AT: bUT, i HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU, mAYBE, sOON

AT: aND I HOPE THAT ONE DAY WE CAN, kISS EACH OTHER, aND THAT STUFF, bUT

AT: sLOWLY

AT: i WOULDN’T WANT TO RUSH, wITH YOU, i’D

AT: wANT TO FEEL EVERYTHING, aS LONG AS I COULD

AT: oKAY, wELL

AT: i’M GOING TO GO NOW, aND

AT: hOPE THAT YOU COME BACK SOON, tO YOUR COMPUTER

AT: sO, bYE

AT: }:o)

adiosToreador [AT] ceased trolling terminallyCapricious [TC]

 

“ _Aw_ , shit.

“Hey. Best friend. Best. Friend. Wake up, my sleepy little motherfucker. Look.”

“…Mffhm…Urgh, _what_?”

“…

“…

“…Well, would you fucking look at fucking that. I told you to calm your shit. Didn’t I tell you to calm your shit? Everything’s just fine now, isn’t it?”

“Fine as a motherfuckin’ miracle.”

“Tavros is all grown up, and he wants to kiss you. Now shut up, and let me go back to sleep.”

“You go all up on and do that, best friend.

“…

“I gotta go and start makin’ those special motherfuckin’ pies, just for him.

“…

“Mmh. Looks like he all up and typed something else that I didn’t see.”

 

adiosToreador [AT] began trolling termianllyCapricious [TC]

AT: <3

adiosToreador [AT] ceased trolling termiallyCapricious [TC]

 

“Motherfuck.

“Tavros Nitram feels red about me too.”


End file.
